A Fate Of My Own
by Mythica
Summary: PG for about 2 curses. Sequel to the "Someone Else" duo. Heero has a major realization about his life.


Well, I had a lightbulb on where to go with the "Someone Else" duo, and here is the result: It's   
called A Fate of My Own, from Heero's POV (and I'm pretty sure that it will keep alternating   
between him and Relena from here on). This part is sort of a bridge between here and the next   
major event in the story, so it's a little weird. And a little long. Enjoy! 

**A Fate of My Own**

Heero walked slowly down his block, head down, shoulders hunched, feet dragging. His   
hands were deep in the pockets of his leather jacket, as far as possible from the cold. Dejectedly   
he turned down his block, kicking at some dry leaves as he walked. 'God damn.' He thought,   
not for the first time. 'What the hell were you thinking? All you had to do was pick up the pile of   
papers and keep your mouth shut.' How he hated his job. Basically, he shuffled around a stuffy,   
bare white excuse for an office building all day, dropping stacks of legal and bank documents on   
important people's desks while they talked on their 5-way calling phones or flirted with their   
secretaries. He despised it beyond words, but couldn't seem to manage any other type of job. It   
had something to do with not exactly being a people person. Even with a simple office job, he   
managed to screw up once in a while. Like today. He was delivering the umpteenth pack of   
papers to the umpteenth floor when he bumped into his boss. Literally. Papers flew everywhere,   
and rather than scramble to pick them up, he had just stood there – At least until his boss decided   
to yell at him about being clumsy and irresponsible, which Heero answered with another smart   
move – profanity. That, of course, landed him in hot water and probation. 'God damn.' he   
repeated to himself.   
As he climbed the drab stairs to his tiny apartment, he could hear voices drifting down   
from one of the other floors. 'Probably somebody saying goodbye at the door. Can't they do   
that inside?' But as he listened, he noticed one voice was yelling, a very feminine voice, hurling   
insults and accusations to an unseen other.   
"Get out. Just get out! I don't ever want to see your slimy face here ever again! And   
take this with you!" He heard something hit the wall with a thud. "You have screwed up for the   
last time!"   
Then there came a man's voice, trying to be soothing and calm. "Look, I'm sorry. It   
wasn't my fault. I didn't mean to do it! I swear! I didn't have a choice... I couldn't think of any   
other way. I had no way out!" There was a pause. "I don't know any other way to live."   
Heero paused, listening. Those words were so familiar. He had heard them somewhere   
before, from someone he had trusted. But the moment those words were uttered he hadn't   
known what to think or what to do. Feeling betrayed and lost, he gave up all control – of his life   
and of everything around him. He was governed by what he had been taught about bare survival,   
taught to him by the only other person who had once given a damn about him. And so he lived   
now, as an empty shell with no care to where he was going, no say in his own future.   
A door slammed and brought him out of his reverie. He heard descending footsteps, so he   
quickly pushed open his door and stepped inside. Just as the door clicked closed behind him, a   
long sigh came from outside, from the person passing by and continuing down the stairs. And   
that's when he realized.   
"You said those words to yourself, Yuy. To yourself. And you would have said them to   
her, except you didn't have the guts. You only knew how to kill, never to heal," he thought,   
mocking himself in his own head. "And when you admitted it you paid for the statement with   
your life. Not your mortal life, no, that would be too easy. You paid with your soul. So now no   
one can forgive you." He closed his eyes, so that they wouldn't wander to a locked box in a   
corner. The black box with its padlock, which held data on all the gundam pilots, a few news   
articles, the disks which held the zero system, and a picture of her. Of Relena. "What about   
her?" he asked himself. "She had a soul too pure for anyone to touch. But she understood. She   
understood the pain and the bloodshed, and got past it." He walked to the box and knelt in front   
of it. He took a chain from around his neck, with a small key on it. He unlocked the box and   
gingerly lifted out the picture from under an old article about the Victoria Base bombing. It was   
an old photo, stolen from a press room somewhere. She wasn't smiling, but looking stately over   
a hall filled with Rommefellar representatives. Her hair was up and her crown on her head, queen   
of the entire earth. "She kept her life." Heero thought wistfully. "They tried to rip her apart, like   
they did so many others, but she had something to go back to when it was all over." He sighed.   
"Not like me." He replaced to photo in the box and closed the lid, snapping the lock shut. "But   
she could find a lost soul, could she not?" Heero glanced at the comm module on his desk. "She   
could forgive me."   
Abruptly he got up and moved to his desk, tossing aside his jacket on the way. He sat at   
the desk, taking a deep breath. Carefully, he turned on the comm link and punched in a set of   
numbers. He closed his eyes and hit Enter, and held his breath while the call went through. The   
call that would open him up for her to see, to scrutinize, to judge. The call that would change his   
take on life, that would reverse the affect of the words he had said to himself so long ago.   
"Please." he whispered. "If I'm going to change my life, please let her be the first to come in to   
my new fate." The comm beeped and Relena appeared on the screen. She gasped, realizing it   
was him.   
"Oh my...." she stared at him, unable to think of anything to say, unable to comprehend.   
"Relena," he started slowly, his mouth dry. "Can you help a lost soul?" She raised a brow at him. "Can you forgive a killer?" he added. She lowered her eyes, understanding.   
"I could, Heero." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then looked up again.   
"And I do."   
* 

Okay, I dunno about you all but to me that was very weird. But the next part is much better!   
(Even though its not written yet) Hehe. ^_^;; WELL, please review, flames accepted too. 'Later! 


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